Girl's Gone Child: Uniforms for Unicorns
Three years ago, Archer was about to start Kindergarten and I was very worried about uniforms1. I think I spent a good several months writing about it, actually. (Sorry.) And then Archer started school and I realized that it was no big deal. Because Archer didn’t think it was a big deal.
Because it wasn’t… a big deal.
He actually loved it. It made getting dressed in the morning a very efficient thing indeed.
And three years later, Archer has become such a fan of the uniform to school policy that he wears one even on free dress days. Weekends, too.
(ED: Our kids attend public school. Apparently any public school can decide to go uniform if the principal decides to go uniform.
Which our principal did. More about that here in this post.)
But Fable is not Archer. Fable cares3. She told me the other day that “looking like a rainbow is the best way to have a good day” and, sure, there are many ways to rainbow it up, but head to toe navy and white feels very un-Fable to me and I’ve been thinking how to, oh I don’t know, furnish her wardrobe with some school appropriate flare between now and August when she starts TK (Transitional Kindergarten4)?
(Fable missed the cut-off for Kindergarten by ONE DAY. Or more frustratingly, THREE HOURS. If only I would have pushed harder, right?
IF ONLY MY VAGINA WAS A BETTER BIRTH CANAL!)
2 For those new to this blog, Fable has been dressing herself alllll by herself since age two5. (Or as she calls it “decorating herself in fashion.”) She clips and ties and wraps bandanas around her arm, wears a thousand necklaces to school, forty hair clips and layers with as much color as she can. She wore one of my tee-shirts the other day to school, belted, with a cardigan and tights. She’s a unicorn.
A rainbow-power unicorn who beats to the sound of her own drummer made entirely of sparkle rainbow flowers. And because of that I’ve been sure to remind her (daily) that come August, she’ll have to stick to a more humble wardrobe for school days. Which, frankly, sucks, because getting dressed for Fable is a lot more than just getting dressed.
It is a huge part of how she identifies herself. Which I am 100% behind. I don’t want her to think for a minute that life has a dress code.
Certain things in life do have a dress code. 
And yet.
She’s my kid. And I want her to be EXACTLY who she is at all times. And telling her how to dress makes me feel like I’m stifling her.
Even if it isn’t me (exactly) who’s doing the telling.
So. I’m trying to work within the system, except, you know, AROUND the system. Attempting to compromise with the dress code by seeking things out that Fable can feel herself in.
Which is not easy because uniforms, by nature, kind of suck. But they don’t have to, right?
I mean, if Sue Ellen taught us anything… (And by “anything” I mean “everything”.)
SO, WWSED style, I’ve made it my mission to find the most amazing navy things that exist in the marketplace today. Starting now.
At Target. Where we went shopping for soap and toilet paper yesterday and ended up purchasing Fable’s entire school wardrobe. (Damn you, Target! Every time!) Here is what we have so far in our quest for Fable’s “not as uniform” uniforms: Second to hair clips, tights are everything.
And socks, too. But let’s talk tights for a moment. Actually, scratch that, it’s May.
Nobody is selling tights right now. But legwarmers for babies? Always en vogue.
(ED: Fable wears leg warmers on her arms.
Here are some favorites, all available for purchase on the Baby Legs website.)6
And, because I’d be remiss not to recommend them, unicorn horns.
In rainbow assortment. 7
I do realize that most uniform-enforced schools aren’t as lax as ours but I wanted to post some options, here, in case your school (like ours) is okay with sticking to color schemes instead of enforcing a more strict “uniforms from French Toast8 only” approach.
Or maybe you just want some cool ideas for accessorizing c/o Fable and her “rainbow power” color scheme. This post about temporary hair color9 is another great resource for kids (and parents) who like to rainbow it up.
References
- ^ I was very worried about uniforms (www.babble.com)
- ^ here (www.babble.com)
- ^ Fable cares (www.girlsgonechild.net)
- ^ Transitional Kindergarten (www.tkcalifornia.org)
- ^ dressing herself alllll by herself since age two (www.girlsgonechild.net)
- ^ Baby Legs website. (www.babylegs.com)
- ^ unicorn horns.
In rainbow assortment.
(www.etsy.com) - ^ French Toast (www.frenchtoast.com)
- ^ This post about temporary hair color (www.girlsgonechild.net)
Maybe You Can't Deduct Nose Jobs & Sex Toys From Your Taxes …
One of the only entertaining things about tax season has to be the crazy deductions. Because honestly, what other joy can be reaped from this most dreaded of days? Well, besides a refund, if you get one.
While you might not be able to write off a nose job or your excessive sweating as tax deductions, somewhere out there, someone can. We salute you, crazy deduction-takers.
Last year around this time we noted a few oddball deductions1, and this year CNNMoney has even more maybe-it ll-work, maybe-it-won t plans from taxpayers in all walks of life. We ve rounded up a few below, check out their complete list for more head-scratchers.
Air conditioning:Who doesn t like a nice cool home in the hot summer months?
We all do, but not everyone can deduct air conditioning from their taxes. One CPA had a client who was able to write off the cost of more than $10,000 in central AC for his house and cottage. He had the medical backup to carry off such a feat, however a note from his doctor regarding a condition that causes excessive sweating.
Nose job: Many a taxpayer likely indulges in self-improvement, but it s a rarity for procedures that could be seen as cosmetic changes to be tax deductible.
The owner of a wine store and wine bar in California wrote off his nose job as a business expense, all because he was having issues with his sense of smell. He argued that he had to smell things for his job, as he goes on buying trips to Europe to pick out the best wines. He was able to get it written off with a doctor s note that prescribed the nose job.
Sexy tools of the trade: There are certain professions which require a set of special skills and tools, and one exotic dancer was able to include her webcam business in that special category.
Her CPA says she wrote off $200 in vibrators, lubricants and lingerie as a business expense involved in her video work.
If a roofer can deduct the cost of his tools used in his line of work, then an actress may deduct her tools used to generate revenue as well, he said. As long as she was not doing anything illegal, then we could support the deduction.
A whole lot of fish: One man deducted hundreds of pounds of tuna from his taxes, as he takes fishing vacations every year and donates the extra fish to a local cannery. That cannery then gives proceeds from the sale of the fish to a religious institution, which allows for the man to claim the value of all that fish as a charitable deduction.
His deductions would often add up to several thousand dollars.
Hey, it s the giving back part that counts, doesn t matter if it s money or of the swimming variety.
Now s a good time to issue a reminder your taxes are due today so you should be filing those pretty darn soon.
Crazy tax deductions2 CNNMoney
References
- ^ we noted a few oddball deductions (consumerist.com)
- ^ Crazy tax deductions (money.cnn.com)
PHILLIP MOND PLAYING CARDS (WD)
PHILLIP MOND PLAYING CARDS (WD)
No description available No description available
List Price: $ 9.99
Price: $ 9.99
PLAYING CARDS
PLAYING CARDS
These playing cards feature comical and sexy characters. The usual 4 playing card suits are replaced with breasts, asses, vaginas and penises. Includes one deck.
Make it a full house tonight! These playing cards feature comical and sexy characte
List Price: $ 24.99
Price: $ 9.99
Find More Sex Toys Products
Matrix Porn Stars Adult Playing Cards Red Deck
Matrix Porn Stars Adult Playing Cards Red Deck
- Discreet Shipping – Privacy Respected!
- Hard core playing cards featuring your favorite Matrix porn stars. Standard 52 card deck.
Hard core playing cards featuring your favorite Matrix porn stars. Standard 52 card deck.
List Price: $ 6.49
Price: $ 2.24
NUDE FEMALE PLAYING CARDS BX – Cheap Discounts
NUDE FEMALE PLAYING CARDS BX
54 nude female models on playing cards. 54 nude female models on playing cards.
List Price: $ 10.95
Price: $ 10.95
Find More Sex Toys Products
Zero Tolerance Hardcore Playing Cards – Discount Reviews
Zero Tolerance Hardcore Playing Cards
- Zero Tolerance Hardcore Playing Cards
If you like going all-in when you get some action, these are the playing cards for you! Ante up and place bets on the most sought-after adult stars in XXX, appearing in different positions on every single card! Wether you prefer big breasts, plump, rumps, fantasy fellation or deep penetration, these gorgeous hotties deliver tantalizing images that will make you hit the jackpot every time!
List Price: $ 9.00
Price: $ 3.36
Related Game Products
TLC Kinky Cards DVD Edition Game – Sales Reviews
TLC Kinky Cards DVD Edition Game
- All you need is your lover and a DVD player (PC and Mac compatible)
- An interactive twist on the popular card game
- The TV?s remote control controls the game
- Get comfortable, get naked then get down
- Every hand is dealt with pleasure
Get undressed, uninhibited and excited with the ultimate sexy, interactive, 2 player DVD-based card game. Full motion graphics help you get into the action
List Price: $ 44.64
Price: $ 14.88